Friday, February 6, 2015

Time To Think, And Time To Rest

I have a lot of time to think. I like this. It means I get to genuflect. I consider a lot of things in this process, and overall, it's hard to complain. 

I've been busy lately. The Jerk Church Tabernacle Choir just started its 2015 season by playing Indie Fest in San Francisco last night. It had been a while since I was on a stage in a real theater. It was fulfilling. I like to play, I like to sing, I even like getting gussied up for the stage.

Today, I'm heading back to San Francisco for more Bay Cruises. I was fully expecting to not work today, but the epic storm we are expecting, seems to have stalled out some. I'm still predicting an early end to my work day.

Although I'm tired a lot, and spend more waking hours on water than on land, I like what I do. It's satisfying in a way I never expected. For the first time, I feel like I'm succeeding. I realize that for most people working as a bartender would not be on their list for success, but I'm good with it. Really good. I like that I don't have to put on airs about what I do. There's nothing to be arrogant about. For the moment, I'm happy with my station in life.

I heard that your 40's are about figuring it all out, and for me, I'm very pleased to find that notion to be true. I don't miss stress, not one bit. I don't miss trying to impress people with what I do, or scheming a new way to be ahead of the pack on the next big thing. Some might say I'm just floating, and in a way I am, both literally and figuratively. But I've learned so much from that.

I've learned by watching sea birds, that sometimes it's ok to just paddle around getting what you need to make it to the next day. I learned from sea lions that having a safe place to rest is as important to survival as food. And I learned from the tides that there is an ebb and flow to everything. 

Respite is the key to recovery, be it from an injury, emotional trauma, or too many years of not really resting at all.  Somehow, I've managed to carve out a life that allows me to rest. I might not get a lot of sleep, but I feel a little more rejuvenated every day. Hoping for more. 

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