Riding the Tide

There's a lot going on for me right now. A new future seems to be forming before me, and it is definitely exciting. 

But let's go back a ways. For years I always had some sort of future in mind. I had goals, hopes, plans and even secret desires of what I wanted to accomplish. Through sheer will I was able to accomplish most of what I set out to do with varying success. 

 A while ago, I guess, I let go of that way of thinking. I quit trying to make things happen. I gave up willing my way through life, because, and I know this sounds dippy, it was just inorganic. In a lot of ways I just gave up. I was tired of putting in so much effort for results that were less than satisfying. 

In spite of all the success, I always felt hollow and unfulfilled, until I got to a point where I started to just let life happen. And somehow, without willing my way there, life has become an interesting pastiche of adventure, and love, and family.  I feel lucky now. 

I admit, I'm  back to having goals, but they are different. These aren't goals met by will, but by passion.  I see potential lining up for me, but as with a dog you don't know, I'm letting them come to me. If a situation doesn't work out, it wasn't meant to be. Yes, it's fatalistic, but I'm perfectly fine with that. I'd rather ride with the current than against it.