Yesterday was Mardi Gras. Without the motivation to find a local celebration, I opted to celebrate by making gumbo and listening to WWOZ. The gumbo turned out great, although I got a little over zealous with the rice. I had every intention of making beignets as well, but opted out since I had baked an apple pie just the night before.
As a recovering Catholic, there are still things I miss about the Church. the ritual of Lent is definitely one of them. I don't know why I enjoy celebrating meatless Fridays, and denying myself something for 40 days, but even now, it appeals to me.
Of course any celebration of the Lent season I partake in now is only sentimental at best, but I still spent a while thinking about what I would give up for 40 days, were I devout. The thought of forgiveness came to mind. Not that I would give up forgiveness, but perhaps resentment. There are many things I have never forgiven, things that go back decades. At this point it seems silly to carry around a grudge for something that happened more than 20 years ago.
But how do I let go. How do I make it ok in my mind and heart to forgive an I reconciled wrong? It is this question I think I will explore for the next 40 days. I don't know that I will find an answer, but seeking it seems like a good idea.